(If you are Jewish or Christian, or have beliefs which are in concordance with the Judeo-Christian holy texts, and have a religious conflict with homosexuality, bisexuality, and/or transgenderism, please read this excellent book.)
|His life was gentle, and the elements
So mix'd in him that Nature might stand up
And say to all the world, "This was a man!"
--Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
|Truths and Lies
I have been told
that I am a figment
of my own imagination,
that what I am cannot be,
that my truths are lies
and their lies are truths.
But I know that I am
and that my truths are not lies
and their lies are not truths.
They may keep me
outside the boundaries
of their imaginations,
but I refuse to be invisible.
--Jason Cromwell, FTM activist
I am a female-to-male (FTM/F2M/F-M) Transgender and transsexual person. (Not clear on what that means? Click here.) After I found out what transgenderism was, when I was 15, I educated myself entirely via the Internet. Some of the sites listed below, among others, gave me the information I needed to begin my transition. I am now living full-time as a guy (since age 16) and am happier than I ever was prior to transition. If you're interested in hearing more of my personal story, you can find it here.
I'm also a member of Compass, the southern New England support group for FTMs, which I love and recommend to anyone who was labelled female at birth but doesn't feel that that is a complete or accurate description of their gender. Check out their website for more information.
I started taking testosterone via the AndroDerm patch on 18 August 2000. On 12 February 2003, I began using AndroGel instead of the patch because I was tired of the skin irritation. I raised my dose on 29 July 2003, from 2.5mg per day to alternating between 2.5mg and 5mg each day, averaging 3.75mg per day. (This is the equivalent of around 75mg by weekly injection. Most Trans guys inject their T.) On Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I put on 5mg, and on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday I put on 2.5mg.
On 08 August 2003, I switched from gel to injections: 50mg every week. I inject testosterone enanthate, suspended in sesame seed oil, and I initially used 25 gauge, 1-inch needles to inject.
As of 21 December 2004, I am self-injecting with 27 gauge, 5/8-inch needles. I used the 25 gauge needles to draw up until they ran out in late 2006; then I bought 20 gauge needles to draw up with. Sometime perhaps in early 2005 I started injecting 60mg every week instead of 50mg, to help myself feel secure that I was definitely getting enough testosterone and wasn't riding the edge. At some point a few years later, maybe in 2010, I dropped my dose back down to 50mg per week.
On 13 October 2010, I had a complete hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oopherectomy (removal of the uterus and cervix, fallopian tubes, and ovaries) in a laparascopic procedure at Emerson Hospital in Concord, MA. After my hysto I dropped my hormone dose from 50mg to 40mg, still weekly.
Click here for my transition diary, which unfortunately starts on my first day of testosterone and not before.
Want to hear my voice? Click here. (I added to it about once a month, to chart my progress on hormones.)
Click here for FTM passing tips!
Click here for a list of toll-free crisis hotlines.
Click here for a ton of resources, including the WPATH Standards Of Care, FTM surgery costs, Internet mailing lists, magazines, nightspots, reading lists, Trans-friendly shops and stores, support groups, surgeons, and gender therapists. (Not just for Trans folks.)
Check it out: Refuge Restrooms - because everyone deserves a safe place to go. (An app, created by a Trans woman, which will help you find public toilets that are safe for Trans and gender-nonconforming people to use in cities around the world.)
There's a lot of offensive stuff about Queer folks, and particularly Trans people, that floats around - especially on the Internet. I think it's about time that we worked to clarify what's offensive and what's not, so there's less grey area, less ignorance, and thus fewer excuses for being offensive. So anyway, click here for some clarifications. Also, feel free to e-mail me with any additions.